That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
