What a fucking waste of an outfit
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
