i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
