Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
