i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
