life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
