They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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