.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Who died my cat blue again?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
