BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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