never play flip cup with pint glasses
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
