I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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