Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
