im having a threesome with these popsicles
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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