just come out here and I will go home with you...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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