I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
