we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
