but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
