It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
