i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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