I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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