I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
