i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
