never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
