I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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