the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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