My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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