But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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