My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
