Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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