This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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