I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
