Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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