Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There's always time for handjobs
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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