i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
