just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
