Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Randomize
