Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
