As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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