can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
