Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
