I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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