So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
