I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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