you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
pop tarts are not kleenex
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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