I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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