I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
