everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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