if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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