What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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