We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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