didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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