I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I got inside last night via doggy door
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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