they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I would ride that face into the sunset
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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